I read about this. About a day coming when it’ll be the last time that he needs me to wash his hair. Ever since I read that blog post, I thought about that day…
For a few months, daddy was helping with baths transitioning to showers, and I would tend to a newborn and a three-year-old princess. And somewhere in the chasm of space and time, my bath-taking toddler became a shower-taking little boy. When my husband announced the achievement, he surely didn’t expect my tears and broken heart. I wasn’t ready.
So today all three of our kiddos are a bit under the weather. My lil guy seems to have it the worse. When daddy got home he thought it would be sweet to offer him a warm, long as he wants, with colors and all the toys, bubble bath! Of course, he loved the idea. He didn’t know it but mommy loved the idea too and needed this to happen more than anyone. Not only was I needing to wash his hair, but I needed to connect with him. See, today was really off for us. He’s crabby because he’s not feeling well, and I’m crabby because he’s crabby! All day long I felt disconnected from all of them, and by the end of dinner, the negative mommy brain nonsense started to kick in. You know that part of the brain that talks to you and tells you how awful you are as a parent and has you questioning whether or not you have already ruined their lives in some way? Ya, that part of the brain sucks, just being real. It not only is an annoying nuisance, but in fact, it is a lying jerk.
I took a deep breath. I asked the Lord to give me His perspective, and I thought about that bath and that sniffling little boy flopping around in it. I thought about his sweet little body and his still baby fine hair. In that minute, I was able to go upstairs without frustration from the day and take advantage of an opportunity that I thought I had almost missed! I washed his hair, and washed his hair, and washed his hair… I washed his hair so slowly that he asked me what I was looking for and if I was ok!
In that tender moment I realized these very important things:
First, I can make up reasons to still wash my kid’s hair for another year at least and will just have to grin and bare bath time clean-up, OR I need to just get over the sentiment and let him shower from here on out! Of course I chose the latter.
Second, I saw myself in my son there in that bathtub; Needy, tired, dirty, and a little uncomfortable. I thought about how I was so heart-whiny all day and buried under a dirty pile of negativity. I thought about being so tired from caring so much about all the things going on in my life right now and I thought about being uncomfortable because of all the responsibility those things are demanding of me.
And finally I got it.
As I rinsed the soap from my lil guy’s hair, bowl of water after bowl of water (it took a lot of rinsing, no joke I washed his hair for 10 minutes! Don’t judge) but as I rinsed his hair I realized that the Lord desires to have that tender time with me too. More so, He desires that I BELIEVE what He has done to my mind and my heart. Bucket of His Blood after bucket of His Blood, I was and am washed cleaned from the all of the things that want to keep me from Joy in this life. I no longer have to allow the thoughts to taunt and cause reaction. I no longer have to stay up late questioning and replaying. I am CLEAN and whole and enough. Because Jesus said so. Because He is enough and I chose Him. He promised, “And that is what you were (all the things we try to wrestle on our own). BUT YOU were WASHED, you were SANCTIFIED, you were JUSTIFIED in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God!’ 1 Cor. 6:11 And with that He dropped the mic! 😊
Really, He has paid a great price so that we no longer have to stay up late with our minds and the games that they play. He paid a great price so that we would no longer allow ourselves to agree with anything that is counter to what He says about us! WE ARE CLEAN! We must only believe it so!
I have to remember, and Friend, you have to remember too, that our #MinutesMatter too much to keep giving into the negativity that debilitates us. He wants so much more for us than that!
Please join us on January 27th at our first Minutes Matter #MeetUp! Jenna Brown will be sharing some AWESOME tools to help us live without the negative and thrive in a healthy mindset, our identity, that Christ desires for all of us to know!
Hope to see you there!