Molly’s Story!

Molly’s Story!

The hardest thing I have ever done in my life is forgive my husband. I mean, totally forgive him. Of years and years of lies and deceit. I wanted to hold on to those things because I had been hurt, wronged, and neglected. I wanted to hold onto my broken heart and wave it in Chris’ face so he could see what he caused. I wanted to live in the sea of my bitterness.

WOMAN OF WONDER

MOLLY HENARD


I don’t really know where to begin, so I’ll start with introductions! I’m Molly. I love sunshine and thunderstorms equally, sunsets, design, working out, naps, and churros- in no particular order but churros ARE my love language. My husband, Chris, and I have been married for twelve years, and have been together since we were fifteen. Yes, we are high school sweethearts!

We have three beautiful, energetic, blue eyed children: Eli (5), Selah (3), and Lily (6 months). We have a dog, a white house with black shutters and a red door….we even used to have a white picket fence. My husband is a pilot so we are able to fly for free and we travel often. We have been involved in the high school youth group at our church for many years, and we host a Bible study in our home every week for students. From an outside perspective, it would seem that we have it all, a perfect life. We’re living the dream!

The story I have to share is hard to write. Every time I revisit these words or share this story I am reminded about the most difficult time I’ve ever walked through. I want to share it because I know many of you have gone through, are going through, or will go through something like it.

It’s how Satan has tried to destroy our marriage.

In John 10:10, Jesus warns us that Satan’s goal is to steal, kill, and destroy. He will find and use a weakness in you, he will whisper lies in your mind until you believe them, he will encourage you to hold on to pain. And he does this for a purpose- his purpose. There was a certain issue my husband faced that Satan used to tear us apart…

It brought lies and deception and emptiness.
It striped my husband of closeness with God.
It voided him of a desire to be in God’s word, of having a regular prayer life, and being the spiritual leader of our family.
It built a wall between us in our marriage. A big wall.
It literally separated and secluded him from everything good.

For me personally, it striped away the closeness, intimacy and trust we had.
I found myself battling insecurity, loneliness, and questioning my value.
The hardest thing to bear was broken trust – not being able to believe words from my own husband.

My heart was broken in a million pieces. I remember so many times I would utter the words under my breath or in my mind “I hate you” to Chris. I remember looking into his eyes and barely recognizing who he was anymore. He was so distant. The hurt he caused was so raw and I felt absolutely no love for him or from him. I wanted to leave but didn’t know how.

Satan was winning the battle… He sought death of our marriage and he had the stronghold.

But God.
But God reminded me that I am a sinner too.
That I also need forgiveness.
Just as God has forgiven me through Christ, I must also forgive.

Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

The hardest thing I have ever done in my life is forgive my husband. I mean, totally forgive him. Of years and years of lies and deceit. I wanted to hold on to those things because I had been hurt, wronged, and neglected. I wanted to hold onto my broken heart and wave it in Chris’ face so he could see what he caused. I wanted to live in the sea of my bitterness.

But I let it go. Let go of my broken heart, my feelings and emotions…and all the pain. And forgave him.

And in that moment, the battle ground shifted sides.

Satan was NOT going to have victory. God would get the glory as He brought us through the deepest, darkest times in our marriage.

Healing did not happen overnight. There were friends that surrounded Chris and gave him the help and encouragement that he needed. Chris and I had many things to talk about and work through… I mean, I think that part is always ongoing in marriage, right?

Through all of this, the Lord taught me that I had to let go of my feelings and emotions, put them in the past, and CLING to Him.

When lies surround me, He is always truth.
When I feel lost, I can always be found in Him.
When my heart is broken, He always restores.

I had to seek refuge in the promises of His Word. I had to be connected to God through prayer, and connected in community.

Okay, confession time: I kept quiet about all of these things for a long, long time. I never was able to open up to anyone about the struggles I was facing in my marriage. Not even to my closest friends. I didn’t know how to put my hurt, my burdens, and heartbreak into words. All of the emotions were so raw and so painful to even pray about in my tears to God. I always answered the question, “How are you?” with the typical, “okay!” with a smile on my face. I never meant to walk around like everything was fine and dandy in my life, I could just never put it into words until there was restoration and healing. How could I summarize everything into a thirty second response? God told me that I would be able to share this story one day. It was a promise I kept in my heart that there would be good from this. Can I tell you how freeing and wonderful it is to have it behind me? And I can have JOY that I went through this trial so that my story may be a testimony on how God can restore your marriage too.

I know it’s hard to open up about our struggles and what we’re going through, but we need this. As Christians, we are to help encourage and lift each other up when we’re hurting. Let other’s know how to pray for you. Never assume someone has it all together, living a seemingly perfect life…let’s face it, no one has it all together! And if you’re not at a place you can let it all out yet, I feel you. I encourage you to cling to your Savior and give your burdens to Him.

I’ll summarize with this…

Satan is out to destroy your marriage. It may take different forms- through
busyness, through anger, money, lies, or lust…. The list goes on.
It is SO important that you recognize these are from the hand of Satan. He loves when you are bathing in a sea of bitterness, hate, and anger. He seeks death.

Don’t. Live. There.

God seeks to give life, restoration, grace, love and joy. Doesn’t that sound better? Let go of the hurt, trust in God. When you work out the issues, when you forgive, when you offer grace…
God Wins. And He gets the Glory!
Grace Wins.

Live there.

If my story made an impact on your heart, a head nod, a “me too” and you would like to connect… I’d love to get in touch! My email is: mollyhenard@hotmail.com

 



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